Yesterday, I celebrated a pretty monumental birthday. I am now 21! Unlike most people who go wild on their 21st birthday, I opted for something low key because my birthday fell on a Sunday, and I had an 8am business law lecture the next morning that I wanted to stay sharp for. Instead of a wild night, I went to the Beverly Hills Hotel for drinks and soufflés. It may have been mellow for a 21st birthday, but I had a lovely evening without a massive hangover the next morning. I ordered the Think Pink cocktail, and one of my friends got the Violet Eyes cocktail. You could hardly taste the alcohol in the drinks, which made them especially delicious and a little on the dangerous side! The drinks were fantastic, but the soufflé alone is worth another trip back for. We got both of the soufflés available that night. The cookies and cream one was delicious, but the chocolate one was easily our favorite. I cannot be more grateful for my evening of cocktails and girl talk. I truly have some of the best friends a girl can ask for.
For my birthday evening full of drinks and dessert, I wore one of my favorite Paige cold-shoulder dresses in a purple floral print (similar here) with a classic leather jacket and my go-to Sam Edelman sandal heels. I picked up this dress at a Nordstrom sale years ago, and I have gotten plenty of uses out of it! I can dress it up with heels and a statement earring or down with sandals and a ponytail. It’s just one of those dresses you always feel good in and can wear well into fall. The floral print is fitting for spring, but the dark colors take it into the fall season, even once the weather has taken a colder turn. The leather jacket is a new addition to my closet! I ordered this one from Shopbop as an early birthday present to myself to replace an old one that was looking worse for wear. Leather jackets are year-round closet staples that everyone needs. If they were trendy in Grease and still worn today, then they’re never going out of style.
This first year of my twenties has been pretty monumental for me. I’m still young, and there are still many lessons left that life is yet to teach me. However, this past year has certainly been one of change and growth. Everyone says you change a lot in your twenties. I don’t doubt that, for I have certainly changed a lot in just the first year of my twenties. Even looking back to just a year ago, I feel like I have come so far and am in such a different place. In today’s post, I thought I would share 20 things I learned from the past 20 years because a little reflection never hurt, and I am so extremely grateful for all of the opportunities and struggles that have led me to where I am today.
- Happiness is a choice. Sadly, I learned this later than I wish I would have. Some people have it easier than others, but you have to decide for yourself that you want to be happy and that you want to make the right decisions that will get you there.
- Life is short, so live it to its fullest. When I was seventeen, one of my friends died in a car accident, and I lost another friend at the end of my freshman year of college. These events in my life were instrumental in changing my mindset. Since then, I promised myself that I will make the most of the life I have and to not take anything for granted.
- Be kind to yourself. Often times, we are our own worst enemies, and the inner dialogue of our heads is more critical than anyone else would ever be to our faces. Don’t stand in the way of yourself. It’s one of the most counterproductive things you can do.
- It’s okay to not be okay. We’re human. Things change. Life can hit us harder at some moments than others. What’s important is that you work through it and rally back.
- Don’t be ashamed of the things that make you happy, even if they’re a little embarrassing. At first, I hid the blog from some of my friends because I was afraid of what they would think. I was concerned they might think it was materialistic or shallow of me to want to talk about fashion in my free time, but true friends want to see you happy and will support all of your passions.
- Surround yourself with truly good friends. Think quality over quantity on this one. I didn’t really have a truly good circle of friends until I started college. Bad friends can really impact your life in a negative way. No one needs that kind of energy in their life, and it starts to take a toll after a while.
- There’s a balance between planning out your life and playing it by ear. There’s nothing worse than coming to a crossroads and not knowing which path is the right decision. On the other hand, too much structure doesn’t allow for wiggle room, and you might close yourself off to the right path without even knowing it.
- You deserve to be treated well. I broke things off with my boyfriend a few months ago. I didn’t mean much to him, and it showed. No one should have to be treated less than their worth. It’s degrading and feels absolutely awful.
- Dream big, and dream often. Life is truly just beginning, and the world is at your fingertips. Nothing is too good for you.
- Dress well. Trust me, you’ll feel better. Looking good and feeling good really are related.
- Do what you want, not what someone else wants or what you think people want from you. Everyone has their own paths. While some people really ought to stay in their lane, many don’t. Don’t let anyone into your lane. It’s your life, and you need to do what’s right for you.
- Just be nice. It really isn’t that hard. Don’t add to negativity. Be the light in someone’s day. You never know what they’re going through.
- There’s a difference between being patient and understanding, and being a doormat. This is also something I learned in my last relationship. Take a stand for yourself and make sure you’re getting your needs met.
- There are three things I must never forget: don’t skip a workout, eat clean, and get enough sleep. There’s certainly room for moderation. I still go out and join in on the fun and the parties, and schoolwork sometimes has a priority over fitting my workout into the day’s schedule. However, I’m definitely not myself if something falls out of balance for longer than a few days.
- Get out of your comfort zone! This is where growth happens. Push yourself, and broaden your horizons. Your future self will thank you.
- The little things matter because they add up. Something silly like lighting your candles, wearing your favorite pair of shoes, or taking an afternoon nap can add up to big improvements in your mood. The same can be said for your habits. Being dedicated to your to-do list, being on time, and holding yourself accountable to your responsibilities will likely result in a greater sense of accomplishment in school, your career, or other pursuits.
- Give back. Part of being appreciative of all of your own opportunities involves acknowledging that there are many who aren’t as fortunate to say the same. Impacting someone else’s life in a positive way is so rewarding and humbling. It provides perspective and keeps you grounded. I’m pretty handy with a pair of knitting needles and a crochet hook. Knitting and crocheting are two of my favorite hobbies, but I never know what to do with my finished projects. However, I have recently decided to donate some of my knit blankets and other crafts to women’s shelters and VA hospitals in Los Angeles. I have also gotten involved with with Face Forward LA and will be volunteering my time at many of the events they put on around the city.
- Embrace your guilty pleasures. They’re interesting quirks about you! For example, I treat Bachelor Monday like a national holiday because it means my friends and I gather in my living room to drink wine and enjoy some quality time together. They’re called “guilty pleasures” because they make you happy. Don’t deprive yourself of the silly things you enjoy.
- If something is wrong, fix it! Don’t wallow in it and feel sorry for yourself. If you don’t take the actions to change the things that are bothering you, then in my opinion, you lose some of the right to complain. You have to put in the work for the results you want.
- The world is pretty great, so go out and see it. I learned a lot from my solo trip to Europe (which you can read out here and here; stay tuned for even more posts about my trip). I don’t want to sit by and watch life happen without going out there and living it myself. I want to actively live my life and partake in the adventure.
This post may have turned out to be sappier than I expected, but if any of these resonate with just one other person, then it’s worth it! As I venture into my 21st trip around the sun, I look forward to filling my life with even more love, happiness, and joy. It’s going to be a good year, and I’m looking forward to seeing what 21 has in store for me.
xx
Emily
