In my first post under the Little Thoughts section, I discussed New Year’s resolutions and how to keep them up (you can read that article here). The example I provided was how I am promising myself that I will keep my technology up to date this year. Updating my iOS and backing up my laptop have always been silly things I can never seem to stay on top of. I also alluded to the fact that I have some New Year’s resolutions of my own beyond the trivial example I provided. Today, I wanted to discuss something far more pertinent, relatable, and definitely personal. One of my big New Year’s resolutions this year is to be nicer to myself.
Throughout my life, I have always been very hard on myself. No one taught me to think this way. It is just something I have always had a natural tendency to do. I have a high standard for myself, and I hold myself to it. Personally, I do not think there is anything wrong with that. I think it is healthier to have high expectations for yourself than to underestimate what you are capable of. However, the problem with having high expectations for myself lies in how I treat myself and hold myself to those standards. Far too often in my life, I have been meaner to myself than anyone else would ever be to me, and definitely meaner than I would be to someone else. I have caught myself on a number of times telling myself that I’m not as smart as I think I am for not having as good of grades as I should, that I am a failure for being the only one in my group of friends that is not in a stable, long-term relationship, that if I make even one mistake, the plans I have for my future will collapse. Seriously though, who do I think I am?! Wonder Woman? No one is 100% perfect 100% of the time…so why have I always felt like I needed to act that way? Honestly, I’m not sure. However, I did know something definitely needed to change, and I decided this was the year it was going to happen.
So much of my life has changed in the last six months, and my self-talk is definitely among that. Don’t get me wrong. I still hold myself to a high standard. I always will. I have high hopes for my future, and a plan to make it all happen. I know that it will all come to fruition, but I definitely need to be nicer to myself in the process because life is messy and being mean to yourself is just plain exhausting. Being in a happier mindset has definitely lightened up the negative self-talk. The logic behind that is pretty simple: it’s difficult to be mean when you’re happy. I’ve mentioned before that happiness is a choice, and that you need to make the right decisions that will make you happy. Getting rid of the negative self-talk was an active decision for my own happiness that goes hand-in-hand with it too, for not only is it hard to be mean when you’re happy but you’re also happier when you’re nicer to yourself. My brain has been much more at ease lately, and my overall outlook has changed as a result. I have never been more motivated, energized, focused, or just plain happy in my entire life, and that’s something pretty cool to be excited about, if you ask me.
xx
Emily
